After a long absent blog I am going to start writing here again in detail about my journey of healthy eating and living. First I have to takes some time learning how this blog works. Give me a few days and I will be back with pictures an a rundown of the last five years.

30 and loving every minute of it!

Happy Birthday to ME!!! I am 30 today and I am loving every minute of it. I have gotten everything I have asked for and more. I have finally made it out of my 20's! 11 more days until my wedding day, I can hardly wait. I Love the beautiful engagement ring I was given yesterday. I can't wait to start my life with Rich forever by my side.

Last day at 29 but 30 looks even brighter.

The lifestyle change is doing me well. I went to my PA yesterday and she said all of my test are good. Little to no fat in my blood and good blood pressure. Whatever she tested me for and I forget now she said she has never seen a test so good. I pointed out to her, (as if she couldn't see) that I was still fat. She just kinda made a face and said, "well your blood test is good." Very good news. I may not look on the outside how I feel on the inside but very soon I will. The pounds seem to be melting off with little effort. If I give it a little more maybe just maybe I will see a little faster result. We are going out of town today to pick up my rings. I am so excited I can barely contain myself. I will be 30 tomorrow. Finally out of my 20's. Time to start a new chapter in my life and this time I believe I have got it right.

Gains and losses

I am gaining a husband but losing a girl friend. I should be happy but I only feel it around Rich. I Love him so much. People say its personal when you get married. It's something between family. "Don't feel too bad that your best friend is mad at you right now." I went and got the book, Don't sweat the small stuff...and it's all small stuff. Its helping. One good thing about this situation is, when I am upset, I don't have an apatite. I am eating way less then I was. I now have to remind myself to eat because my stomach isn't telling me too. Food now taste bland to me. Maybe this is why I don't want to eat. I swear I could eat a card board box and tell myself its a pizza and my taste buds wouldn't know a difference. My life right now is full of love and I do feel it. I feel his love right to the core of me and you gals also help me see the light every day that I log on and read your stories. I know my life will move on without my best girl friend in my life but I am not yet ready. Everything happens for a reason and if this is what was always meant to be I guess I am going to have to go with the flow. I may just be in mourning over the loss that is why I can't eat...or...maybe and hopefully not, the darkness is starting to hit and this is just the first sign. Whatever the case may be, I need to call my Doctor for help. Hopefully, he will have some answers for me because I am out of answers. Now all I need to do is bring myself to call him.

Motivation

Besides all the gals in this competition and the fact that I am so sick and tired of being a big girl, I finally have found some other things that get me up and onto my stationary bike at home. I watch and dvr my favorite funny lady (Ellen DeGeneres) and for that hour while I am laughing I am also getting my exercise. Yesterday was particularly motivating because she had on Allison Sweeny (sp?) You know, the host of The biggest Loser. As I worked out they were talking about how good it is to workout and how they were proud of the people on the show for changing there lives. I really only meant to spend 45 minutes riding but was so motivated I spent an extra 10 minutes riding. I find that motivation comes in a lot of forms. Mostly from the gals in this competition but I have also found other things that help me to get up and get moving. Watching my favorite daytime talk show while on a stationary bike is just one thing. Now all I have to do is figure out how to dance while on the bike and I will be set. :)

It's raining it's pouring...

It's windy, it's pouring down rain and the air is crisp a fresh. I personally love this weather. I plan to ride inside today but I love this weather, I find it cleansing and refreshing. Luckly for me the weather is forecast to last a couple more days. To me, this weather is a reason to smile. I just hope that everyone is safe today and do their workouts inside if it is raining like this where you live.

This is me back in Fall 2002. I was at my heaviest 252 lbs. I am a work in progress and biggest loser blog seems to be the best place for me... I got on the scale this morning and was 221.5 lbs. My weight fluctuates by 7 pounds so I never really know how much I am. At one point I got on the scale and it said 218 so...anyway, just thought I would share.

I was cleaning and found a

I was cleaning the other day and I found a picture of myself from back in 2002. Dang, I have come a long way since then. Would anyone like to see the picture? I will take a picture of the pic and post it...only if I get a response. :)

Abilify Begone

My Doc took me off Abilify Wednesday after I made him aware of all the side affects that were happening to me. We are just going to stick with the other meds, the abilify should be out in 2-5 days. With my Lithium up by 150mg and me taking 450mg in slow release in the morning and then 600mg at night with Serequil I am sure to be fine. So goodbye Abilify and hello Sanity. The Mania has left the building. :)

Me again, this time you can see all of me. :) If you go to one of my first posts you will see me (in black and white) one month ago. I can see the changes, yet, I have seen the changes everyday since I started this program. Thank you everyone who is and continues to support me as I continue to shrink and give no excuses why I can't give it my all.

This is an after picture of me on 10-6-2009.

I never thought.

I never thought it would feel good to lose...but it does! With the support of my biggest loser blog buddies I feel like the Richest person around. I am so blessed to have a good group of girls around me supporting me every step of the way. I only wish more would follow. I continue to find more and more of you girls as inspiration and to me that is key to help me with my weight lose. I will do it, I am doing it and I will reach my goal. Thank you to all who follow me and to all that comment. Your comments are like gold. Congratulations all losers! For any who didn't lose...keep working at it and you too can be a loser!

I'm a loser! :)

Last chance workout!

Last chance to shed the extra lbs before we have to weigh ourselves. I am going to go to the gym and use a machine I have never used and join a class I know nothing about. Okay, one or the other, I should only do one at a time so, I am going to pick a new machine. Tomorrow I will pick a new class to join. Stability ball anyone? This competition is fun! More motivation then competition and that is what I like. Happy workout everyone.

Narcoleptic like state.

I have been feeling narcoleptic this week. If I sit down for more then 5 minutes my eyes roll back in my head and I start to nod off. I had been doing it before I added new medication but not as much as now. At 10:30am today, I finally could sit or lay with no trouble. I think it might be a lack of sleep at night. I have been averaging 3-6 hours a night but I know I need at least 7-9 hours. I do my very best in the night hours to get 7-9 hours, it will happen, I am sure of it, the question now is when. When I feel sleepy in the day, if I am home, I go to bed and normally get anywhere from 30 minutes-2 and 1/2 hours of sleep. Its always between the hours of 12pm and 2:30pm. "My Siesta."

It took getting FAT to heal.

In my opinion it took getting FAT for 10 years to truly heal my broken soul. That and I fell in LOVE 10 years ago. He has stuck by me through thick and thin and I Love him for it.
I was thin for the first 20 years of my life so I know what it feels like inside to be a skinny person. By the way, ( it is also lonely ) anyway, I knew how strong physically I felt but mentally I had the brain of a teenager. My brain stayed that way until...well I started reading about this competition.
I had a friend of mine go through it and for 9 months I watched read and possibly/ maybe helped her find herself in the end. I cant help but to think she is now doing the same for me. Even if she's not, she is somehow.
It took becoming Fat and living through the day to day of it all, that finely go me to see...YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK YOU ARE. I now think of myself as skinny...my body hasn't caught up YET
but my brain tells me...yes you are, yes you can and yes Kelli, you will do this!

The biggest loser Fall 2009 t.v. show

I made sure I took my hour long walk today, I wasn't going to because it was too hot...no more excuses. I just did it earlier in the morning and broke the time up. Half hour...rest half hour so I could volunteer my time at a local Elementary school. Then the half hour walk home. I walked fast and was drenched sweat after both half hours. Wednesday is now my walk to the school and back. I highly recommend volunteer work.

stress

Right this very second I have no stress, as I go through my day I find that sometime stress follows. I am sure we all know stress is a killer on losing weight. As a rule I do the best that I can to try to eliminate any stresses I might have. I have been doing well in that I average 2 pounds a week just keeping the stress to a minimum . My mind starts to wonder at the prospect of losing more at one time then I remember...2 pounds is a lot for a week when doing "this" by yourself.
With the help of a twice a week trainer...Not my personal trainer just someone that works at the gym. Lets call her E. She sometimes will spill advice my way. With the loveing help of my father...My actual father...and now I know my father in heaven, I will and can do this. If fat equals stress and stress equals fat, then I want it out for good.